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[Nov. 11th, 2009|12:11 pm] |
After yesterday's evangelism workshop with Sabby, I realise that I've wasted my time when I'm still in secondary school. When I was given the chance and opportunities to reach out to people in my school or even sharing the Gospel, I didn't have faith and courage to do it and always saying, "I'll do it later" and didn't grab onto the chance that I've got. I really regretted, I really do:(
Even yesterday, when sabby was sharing about the things she went through in her secondary school days on doing evangelism, a thought came to my mind. "If i've the opportunity/chance to go back to my secondary school, I would want to grab onto the chance that had been given to me." If that's from God, I want to obey Him and to do evangelism in school, to start up a new outreach in SHSS. "when two or three are gathered".
I really think that there's not much possibility for me to make it to NA or even going back to SHSS to study again. If i really have that chance to go back to SHSS to study or even go to NA, that will be definitely from GOD. It will be by God grace! REALLY!
I pray and hope that I can make it to NA/going back to SHSS to study. I really want to see my school getting save. I really want to. (:
If other school outreaches can do it, I believe that SHSS can do it to |
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[Oct. 23rd, 2009|01:12 am] |
I hope i'm back in track now.
Once was lost, and now i'm found. |
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[Oct. 11th, 2009|08:57 pm] |
Now i'm so free. Very free. No more exam, no more school for the time being. Nlevel has just ended not long ago and it's time to rest! Don't have to get so stress for exam anymore and don't to struggle through the papers too. Thank God that it's over. Finally over. And now it's time to rest. Although i didn't really study much during my Nlevel period. opps. But now, waiting for my results too. Hope I can get a GOOD results. I HOPE! But now, even it's holiday, but I really have no idea what am I going to do for this 2month plus. I want to go and look for a part time job. Any lobang? It will be so bored if I stay home the whole day plus I don't want to go out everyday. but don't mind going swimming and gym. hahas. It's time for some exercise too.
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[Sep. 24th, 2009|04:50 pm] |
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This few days or rather, this few weeks, I'm really lost. Lost in the relationship with God and just leaving in my on world. Not living life that it should be. Sometimes, I even thought to myself, "Do I really love Him, or Does He loves me?" Even sometimes, I really want to get back to Him, wanting to recieve Him back into my life again, but each time when I want to, it fails. Somehow, I'm allowing the devil to defeat me, I know I don't want this, don't want the devil to defeat me but I'm just allowing this. WHY? Then whenever I want to do my QT and doing something spiritual, I will always get distract by the things around me. The devil is really making ways to stop my relationship with God. Is like, the things/people that are around me, some are really a HUGE distraction. Even recently, the thoughts of wanting to backslide, kept appearing in my mind. I want to get rid of this thoughts. i really do. FRIST LOVE! |
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[Sep. 15th, 2009|04:02 pm] |
TAFERINE CHUA FANG TING! You shouldn't be here! You should be studying NOW!
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[Sep. 11th, 2009|07:36 pm] |
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Recently, I stop doing my daily quiet time, spending time with God and even reading the word. I knew that, without Him, I will definitely feel very empty and dry. Life without Jesus is like a DONUT. I needed know why am I feeling this way right now. I really want to get back to the first love where I can strongly feel the love of God again and being so deperate for Him. Sometimes, I am really avoiding myself from spending time with Him. Kept running away from the time of doing my quiet time or giving some excuses. Each time when I did that or even didn't spend my time with Him, I will feel so down after that and I will kept thinking why.
Still, I know that God loves me but sometimes I was wondering whether do I really deserve His love. Seriously, I really hated the feeling so much. Feeling so lost without Him, my heart really break. Even yesterday, when I reached home, I suddenly has this argue of doing my quiet time but in the end, I didn't. Maybe because I'm trying to avoid myself to spend quality time with Him and maybe is because I think that I don't deserve His forgiveness? I really don't know. and even I thought that, what if i ask God for forgiveness but I go back to the same old track again? I really want to stop doing the things that I not suppose to do. But how? |
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